Clearly, I need to change. If I were the loveable and special person my ex still says I am, he wouldn’t want to leave me.
I don’t have men falling all over themselves for me – and if they ever did, I guarantee they were tripped.
In an effort to find a man who could bear to stand next to me and hold my hand into the future, I must change.
Here are a few ideas.
- Be less friendly and smile less. Nothing scares a man away faster than a woman who seems friendly and interested. Smiles should be saved for hiding hurt/heartbreak/serious depression.
- Wear more makeup. But do it expertly – so it looks like I’m not wearing any.
- Shave my unruly hair off and get a pretty wig. (May also have benefits if children ever bring head lice home again.)
- Laser off all the body/facial hair. I’ve given up my plan to join a freak show as the resident bearded lady, so there’s nothing to lose.
- Find a cure for all my health problems. Nobody likes a burden, right?
- Invent a time machine so I can unmake my mistakes and get back to my current age with an additional decade or two of gym workouts, some postgraduate qualifications and a great career history/stacks of savings. (I could do without the bad marriage and the divorce that followed, too.)
- Have my head transplanted onto an attractive body… or my body transplanted onto an attractive and sane head… or maybe just start all over with a new head AND body. Should work well with my new past.
Good luck, me!