After Eight chocolates left in box: zero.
After Eight papers eaten by toddler son: unknown, but, judging by unusual nappy contents, more than zero.
Sleepiness level of son at 2:10 am: less than zero.
My wrists: feeling sprained.
Elbows and fingers: rusty.
Rings on Gielgud: zero. Just a mark left by the engagement ring I had to have cut off because of Gielgud’s changing shape.
State of mind: in sync with Tess of the D’Urbervilles. Watching while my son waves at Tess, laughs at cows and sticks a pencil through the teat of his bottle.
Questions watching Tess of the D’Urbervilles: How could Newt Scamander be so cruel?!